– 8 useful tips
It’s a common dinner conversation, “how often do couples fight in a healthy relationship”? While you may hear different answers from different couples, it’s important to know what relationship experts have been discussing for years.
On average, in a healthy relationship, couples argue about once a week. This may seem like a lot, but it’s actually a good thing! This is a question that does not always have a definitive answer because every couple is different. However, there are some general guidelines that can help you gauge whether your fighting level is healthy or not.
Couples who don’t fight at all may have unresolved issues simmering beneath the surface. On the other hand, couples who argue too much may need to learn how to communicate more effectively. What kind of fight are we really talking about? An argument is not shouting, it is a disagreement or not seeing things on the same level and talking about it.
Here are 8 tips to help you determine if your fight level is healthy
Tip 1: It’s healthy to have disagreements
Just like in any other relationship, yours will have disagreements. It is important not to bottle up your feelings and let them simmer. Disagreements are a normal and healthy part of any relationship. The key to disagreeing is to come to some sort of term, where you both end up respecting the other’s opinion. Either you come to terms with your partner’s opinion or you both will simply have to disagree and make different decisions.
Tip 2: Talk
If you disagree, talk about it. Don’t try to ignore the problem or sweep it under the rug. Talking about it is the best way to solve problems that may arise. When you need to talk, make sure you listen. Speak in a calm tone of voice and don’t assume they fully understand your point of view. Remember, the goal is to achieve mutual understanding, not to win an argument.
Tip 3: Don’t use an argument as a way to vent
If you feel stressed or overwhelmed, it’s important not to vent on your partner. Find other ways to vent your frustrations, such as talking to a friend or going for a run. If you need to argue, make sure you do it in a constructive way, not just attacking each other. Venting will usually be about something unrelated to your partner, don’t let that little thing they do that annoys you a little become something really big that will allow you to take over your emotions and vent. It’s unfair to your partner and can really hurt your relationship.
Tip 4: Don’t go to bed angry
This is common advice for couples, and for good reason. Going to bed angry can cause resentment and bitterness that will build up over time. If you have an argument, try to resolve it before going to bed. If this is not possible, arrange to discuss it in the morning. This doesn’t mean you should stay up all night arguing about things, do your best to come to some kind of agreement and if it gets to the point where you both hug each other tiredly, say you still love each other you are just in the middle of a disagreement. Go to bed and you can continue the next day.
Tip 5: Don’t use an argument as a way to get attention
Do you find yourself constantly arguing with your partner? If so, you may be using the fight as a way to get attention. This is not healthy for you or your partner. Instead of fighting, try to find other ways to get the attention you need. This is usually unconscious, you may not know that you are actually doing it for attention. Ask yourself if you feel you are getting enough attention. If not, pay attention to your actions and see if there is a different way you can get the attention you need.
Tip 6: Rest
If things get too hot, take a break. This does not mean that you give up or that the fight is over. It just means you need some time to cool down. Taking a break can prevent things from getting out of hand. During this time, try to calm down and clear your head. Go do something different, get a massage, pursue your hobby or maybe just have a cup of tea with a friend. Once you have calmed down, you can continue the conversation in a more constructive way. Sometimes stepping away from the struggle can clarify what’s really going on or how to see things differently.
Tip 7: Don’t bring up old arguments
This will only stir up old emotions and may lead to an argument unrelated to the current issue. This will only make things worse and can cause anger to build up. If you do this, try to focus on the current problem and what you can do to solve it. Usually if someone brings up old arguments, they try to use them as leverage to win the current argument. This is a form of manipulation, since it may be innocent, you have to understand that it is actually happening.
Tip 8: Seek professional help
If you find that you are constantly arguing with your partner and nothing seems to be working, seek professional help. Couples therapy can be very helpful for struggling couples. It can help identify the root of the problem and provide tools for conflict resolution. Professionals can also help you understand your personal triggers and how to deal with them. If you feel like things are really bad and you don’t think you can fix it yourself, seeking professional help is a good option.
– So, how often do couples fight in a healthy relationship? One a week is what the stats say, but how the fight ends is what really matters. These 8 helpful tips will help you through the process. Follow these tips and you’ll be on your way to a more peaceful relationship. When it comes to arguments in a relationship, it’s important to remember that not all arguments are bad. In fact, fighting can be a healthy thing for couples as long as it is done in a constructive way.
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