It is a funny surprise that you experienced a few days ago or even a few minutes for the fastest, and you want to know what to do to avoid falling into the main traps. Indeed, your ex’s name is displayed on your phone. A message, a call or even a simple message on social networks and you immediately do not know how to react, you hesitate to respond to that message or this approach… And the question arises: should you contact your ex again or wait??
Inevitably, feelings resurface little by little and you wonder why your ex can come back to you.
A whole bunch of questions are pushing in your head “Has my ex found his love for me? “, “Does my ex want to come back just for sex? », « Why is my ex contacting me again, would my distancing really work? “. It’s not easy to put yourself in another person’s shoes and think like an ex to know exactly what are the reasons that can make him/her come back as if nothing happened. You are torn between the fact that you are not looking for yourself, but on the other hand you don’t want to miss this opportunity to stand shoulder to shoulder with him/her, if you are clearly in the prospect of winning back.
Since this is not always the case, you may also be against his return and want to maintain this distance you established along the way. How then to react to the attempt to return the ex? Here is finally an expert answer that reveals everything you need to know in these circumstances.
Why is my ex contacting me?
Most men and women who come to my site have only one thing in mind, to get their ex back on a date. However, this is not the case for all of you.
Indeed, after a painful breakup or relationship that made you suffer, you decided to draw the line and not pursue your relationship. It’s your choice and I can only respect it, but your ex hears it differently. He/she may tell you about his/her regrets and desire to rebuild a strong relationship.
After a few weeks of distance and even a few years, as I could see recently during coaching, feelings can resurface, a simple desire or urge can prompt your ex to come back and send you a banal message in appearance, but which hides many things .
The truth is that it is quite destabilizing hear from the ex when communication completely disappeared. If you’ve always been in touch, you have no reason to ask yourself questions about receiving messages from the person you shared your life with.
However, if some people see the return of an ex as evidence of a rebirth of their feelings, we must be careful not to jump to conclusions.
Indeed, his message can only be a way for him to hear from you without ulterior motives, without necessarily hoping for a return and with the goal of to reform the couple.
If my ex reconnects, he’s not going to war!
I have to be clear with you. If you haven’t been in contact with your ex for a while and you suddenly hear from him, don’t be surprised Is my ex calling me again? that the situation escalates once again.
In fact, 95% of the time it will be a nice message because you’re not coming back to haunt someone months after the breakup! So there is a high probability that it will be positive and that your ex will want something with you again.
In order to master all the techniques for recreating the atmosphere of seduction, I refer you to this article I want to know everything to get my ex back !
When an ex is simply thinking about getting back together, it’s because he/she prefers to ease the tension, especially if you have children together. I’m not telling you that he/she absolutely wants to become your friend, because undoubtedly there will always be some ambiguity, but a priori his/her desire is not to stay on conflicts.
He/she thereby assumes the correct attitude and you should accept the stretched pole. Of course, you can have a reason to refuse if your relationship ended for quite serious reasons (violence, manipulation, repeated cheating).
However, if you don’t want to be constantly bitter and confrontational every time you have to talk, pouring wine shouldn’t be a shame.
At least for the sake of your offspring, you must remember that you must not always be under tension. Your children do not need to witness your confrontations, your arguments, it is necessary that their balance does not have parents who separate from each other. Under these conditions his ex calls him back not necessarily a bad thing, so don’t take it all the wrong way.
Regardless of whether you are in the perspective of regaining love or have turned the page, disagreements will not take you anywhere, and in everyday life you will be more fulfilled only if you manage to break through the abscess and be able to exchange, if it is not friendly or romantic, it will be kind.
However, if your ex isn’t trying and comes back to you with bad intentions or doesn’t dress right, distance might be a better solution.
My ex is talking to me again, are his feelings coming back?
When you’re going through a breakup and the feelings are still there, you tend to analyze all your ex’s gestures for the negative (he/she is dating someone, he/she doesn’t have feelings anymore, why is my ex not responding to me?…) but also positive (his/her love is still strong, he/she will return soon). We need to convince ourselves that we associate communication and love, which is not always a mistake, but we cannot always confirm it.
When I teach men and women who have been with someone who has children for years, 
it is normal that the contact is not completely broken. So you don’t have to be surprised why is my ex chasing me but rather take advantage of his exchanges without asking thousands of questions and without putting pressure on yourself.
There are situations that require communication. However, something good can come out of these situations. If the conversations are calm, if we laugh, if we manage to feel the change, it shows that our ex has not really moved on and that we have a chance to return to him because the dialogue is not invented by the conflicts themselves.
When you are not bound by anything family or material, it is a good thing to have news about your ex-partner. Saying “my ex is calling me” when he/she doesn’t necessarily show interest.
Be careful, I am not talking about romantic feelings, the feeling of lack, the discussion does not mean that he/she thinks about you day and night, but it is a good sign. It is important not only to be satisfied with these exchanges, but also to take action to awaken your love and so that you no longer have to ask yourself this question.
The first observation I want to draw is that it is better to say that my ex reminds me than that my ex ignores me! Especially when you want to win it back.
In order to recover your ex, you can also “use” this moment and this opportunity that is offered to you, but for this you must not react with too much demand, that is, absolute desire talk to your ex every day, behaving as a couple. First of all, you need to find a healthy, complicit and funny dialogue to lighten the atmosphere.
There is often that tension or shape awkwardness after separation that prevents calm discussion. You really don’t know which leg to dance on, whether you should see him/her as a friend or try your hand at subtle seduction.
In the beginning, before thinking about changing the couple immediately after he/she simply resumed contact, you need to spend time together, learn how to have fun again (and not just under the covers!), talk again.
Nothing obliges you to talk to him all the time, to reply to his messages in less than 2 minutes. On the contrary, it is even better to take your time. By showing you a bit unavailable he/she will perceive you as a challenge and this is positive for testing his/her feelings and better understanding his/her return.
When his ex reconnects, it’s necessarily a better sign than when he or she breaks up. However, this does not mean that everything is won in advance. You’ll need to make sure you establish a progressive strategy to reignite the feelings as you go along. On the other hand, mistrust, even the smallest addict can be fatal to your plan, so if you hesitate, consider personalized coaching !
Sincerely
Coach if my ex contacts me again
Alexandre Cormont
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